


Rock The Boat

by iwritetrash



Series: Hold Me in Your Arms [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Finn being a naive idiot, Happy Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nobody wants to make the first move, Not 'Just Friends' but not together either, Slow Burn, jess ships it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-22 01:23:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6065485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwritetrash/pseuds/iwritetrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A continuation of Hold Me In Your Arms for those who want to read it, although Hold Me In Your Arms is still a stand-alone fic. This turned out longer than I expected</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rock The Boat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [beetle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beetle/gifts).



> Because I'm terrible at endings.

After that first night, Finn began to realise that Poe was the kind of person he could rely on. Finn began to notice how much more... comfortable he felt when Poe was around. He felt more open, more relaxed, more... Happy.

With the lull in the battle with the First Order, there came a sudden calm, washing over the resistance base. This calm slowly seeped into Finn’s bones, and he felt himself slowly relaxing into his new life. It took time and some days were better than the others, but for the most part, he was happy, his inhibitions growing quieter and quieter with each moment he spent at Poe’s side.

They fell into a comfortable, harmonious routine, and a steady rhythm. Poe moved Finn into his quarters, insisting that it was ridiculous for Finn to have to walk round to his quarters each time he had a nightmare, and that it made far more sense for him to just stay with him all the time.

They spent more and more time together. Finn would visit Poe as he worked on his x-wing, and was greeted with a warm hug and a soft brush of Poe’s lips on his cheek.

Poe would find small ways to touch him or brush against him whenever they were together, leaning across him in the mess hall to get the salt, or straightening his jacket or sitting just close enough that their shoulders just touched during an important meeting.

He could tell from the reactions of the other pilots in the hangar that this wasn’t how friends really behaved, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. At least not for now. He liked spending time with Poe, and he liked the fluttering sensation in his stomach whenever they touched. He liked the way Poe pressed soft kisses on his cheek when he though he was asleep. He liked the way Poe smiled at him from across as room when they made eye contact. He liked... Poe.

He had made the mistake of mentioning the fluttery feeling in his stomach to some of the pilots who had laughed and told him not to worry, because ‘everybody falls for Poe, eventually.’

Finn didn’t know what they meant by ‘falling’ for Poe, but he didn’t like the sound of it. It sounded dangerous.

Eventually, after several discussions with the other pilots and a few of the other friends he’d managed to make around the base, he came to realise that they meant that he liked Poe, but in a different way. In a way that was more than just the friend way. People told him that it was a special feeling, to love someone, and seemed sad when he told them he didn’t know what love was.

It had only ever been rumored among Stormtroopers, and strongly discouraged. Love meant attachment and attachment created vulnerability and weakness. He had heard whispers about what happened outside of the First Order. People who were in love held hands and kissed and talked to each other about everything and had sex for pleasure instead of just for reproduction. That was all the whispers had ever told him about love, but people on the resistance base told him so much more.

It was a connection, like a bond, as if your heart had gotten to know someone and said ‘That one, that’s the one I want’ and become dedicated to looking after that other person. Love was not wanting them to get hurt, or go too far away. It was wanting them to love you, and only you (although not for everyone, he’d been told, but for most people, they wanted the person all to themselves). It was putting them before your own needs, and knowing you’d go to the farthest corners of the universe for them. It was thinking about them all the time and knowing that even if you had nothing, not a single possession to your name, you would still be happy if you just had them with you. It was knowing that they drove you absolutely crazy sometimes, that they could be infuriating, that they could make you so angry, but you know that after the fight is over, you’ll still want them, you’ll always want them.

As Finn listened to people describing love to him, he thought about Poe. He thought about how he felt when he was with him, and the emptiness when he was away. How angry he was when Poe did something risky in battle that put his own life at risk, but how he knew he’d do the same thing if it was Poe’s life at stake. He thought about the nights when they lay together, with tangled limbs and his head resting right over Poe’s heart, lulled to sleep by the steady beat. He came to realise that he loved Poe. He had fallen for him, and it was every bit as dangerous as he’d imagined.

If he told Poe, and Poe didn’t love him too, it would shatter their fragile relationship, and crush everything he had worked to achieve, but keeping his feelings squashed up inside of him was like trying to fit something inside a box that was far too small. Their relationship was so tediously balanced on the border between friendship and something more, as if they were both stood in the middle of a boat in the ocean. If he tried to row one way and Poe resisted, pulling back the other, they risked rocking the boat and capsizing. They needed to both row the same way for it to work, and Finn knew there was only one way he really wanted to row. No, it was better to keep drifting on the borderline. At least for now.

For a few briefs hours, Finn was able to let it be, he was able to convince himself that he could live in this half state between friendship and something more. But then again, it is often far easier to convince yourself you don’t need something when it isn’t being dangled right in front of your face, which is why Finn’s resolve crumbled the second he saw Poe again.

Now that he had learned exactly what love was, and how it felt to be in love and have someone love you in return, he yearned for it with every fiber of his being. He wanted to have it with Poe. This dawning realization left him unsure of how to act around him. He didn’t want to be overbearing or seem too invested in their relationship, however it was defined, but at the same time he didn’t want to seem too distant and risk shattering what they had.

He contemplated avoiding Poe, but dismissed the idea as soon as it arose. He considered asking him what this thing was between them, but how could he do it without sounding needy or silly? He also considered just grabbing Poe and kissing him senseless. That idea appealed to him a lot, and it stuck in his mind each time he saw Poe, whether he was visiting him in the hangar or sitting next to him in the mess hall or cuddled up to him at night or even passing him in one of the hallways in the resistance base.

But no. If he was going to do this, rock the boat, then he was going to do it right.

***

“You want to do what?” Jess asked, choking back an excited giggle.

“I want to take Poe on a date, romantically, I mean.” Finn replied, still feeling nervous about asking Jess for advice.

“Finn, aren’t you already together?” She asked, smiling.

“No?” Finn replied uncertainly. “I don’t think so, no.” Jess laughed at his response, but immediately sobered up when she saw the expression on Finn’s face.

“Oh, you’re serious? Right.” She nodded. “Okay, so you want to take him on a date and what? Confess your undying love?” Finn blushed furiously.

“Yes.” He replied. “Is that not normal?”

“Finn, honey, everything about this... thing between you and Poe is not normal. Normally Poe would have jumped your bones by now, for stars sake the man is smitten, but he hasn’t done anything because he’s scared. Normally, Poe is crazy confident and flirts outrageously with anything that has a pretty face. And I haven’t seen him flirt once since he met you. Nothing about this is normal. It is spectacular and crazy, because you, Finn, are the man that made Poe Dameron fall in love.” Jess grinned widely at him.

“I-I am?”Finn stammered.

“Stars, you two are so naive!” Jess rolled her eyes. “Okay, so about this date. Poe is a sucker for romantic gestures, so get him flowers, he likes pink roses the best, wear something nice, I can help with that. He likes the sunset, so maybe a picnic watching the sunset. He would like that, I know exactly where you need to go. And oh! You’ll need to play a little music. Oh my stars, there is so much to do. There’s a meteor shower coming up in a week, if you do it then, you can watch the sunset and then look up at the stars and it will be magical.” Jess squealed excitedly, babbling through endless information as Finn listened, gobsmacked by her excitement and enthusiasm. “I’ll help you with everything, of course. This date will be perfect!”

***

In the end, Finn didn’t make it through the week. Walking into the hangar to find Poe stripped to the waist turned out to be his tipping point, as he stared at the sheen of sweat on Poe’s tanned skin as he worked over his X-wing, and the dark smudges of grease on his hands and arms and torso. Finn watched, enthralled, as Poe reached up with one hand to brush his hair out of his eyes, muttering something to BB-8 at his side, before turning back to lean over his engine, his back muscles rippling as he did so.

It wasn’t like Finn hadn’t seen Poe shirtless before, of course he had, especially now they were sharing a room. It had become a natural occurrence these days. But there was something so... Hot about the way Poe worked on his X-wing, covered in engine grease and sweat from the hot sun and a day’s hard work.

It was no surprise, therefore, that Finn had Poe pinned to the wall the second he walked through the door to the room they shared.

“Finn.” Poe whispered breathlessly, their faces only inches apart.

“I love you.” Finn blurted out, watching Poe’s face intently for his reaction.

“Oh thank the stars.” Poe sighed, smiling widely “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear that for.” Poe surged forward to capture Finn’s lips with his own, pulling him into a bruising kiss.

Finn stepped into the kiss, pressing the length of his body against Poe’s, so Poe was trapped between the wall and Finn’s body, not that he minded all that much. Finn’s lips pressed insistently against Poe’s, and Poe willingly opened his mouth, letting Finn’s tongue slide against his as their bodies tangled together. Poe rested his hands on Finn’s chest, while Finns hands slid into Poe’s hair, tugging gently and eliciting a filthy moan from him. Poe pulled back breathlessly all too soon, gently pressing their foreheads together, his dark eyes staring at Finn intently.

“I love you too.” He whispered with red, swollen lips, and Finn’s heart melted at the sight of this beautiful man pressed against the wall, against him, his lips bruised and his eyes dark because of him.

Finn leant in slowly and captured Poe’s lips again, but the kiss was gentler this time, more loving and meaningful as they moved gently together, lips on lips, hands on cheeks, legs between legs, eyes pressed shut.

Finn felt as though a missing piece of him had just clicked into place. A piece shaped like Poe. A piece he didn’t even know was gone until he met Poe, that had only just fallen into the right place.

In that moment, he felt absolutely complete, and he wondered how he could ever have lived without love, if this was what it felt like.


End file.
